Why She Loves Me

"The Secret of the Booze"

Cowabunga Dudes! Welcome to the second installment of "Why She Loves Me." If you're back, thank you so much for the support last week. If this is your first time with us, hug whoever told you about this blog. They just upped your swagger.

Gentlemen's note:  while swagger is ok in this setting, don't you dare use it in front of the ladies, you will look like a douche.  Trust me, don't make my mistakes.

And, with that we continue the saga.

They're mean, they're green, and they would whip a shit-ton of "Foot Clan" ass to get their hands on this weeks recipe.

We're talking about The Secret of the Booze, Beer Bread Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza, but since both the Ninja Turtles and myself currently reside in NYC, we’re going to name this pizza "The Foreigner". This is the pizza that would make April O'Neil practice some interspecies foreplay with the turtle who made it. 

Think about it. April O’Neil and Raphael (as he's the only one with the balls) just going at it like crazy. Keep thinking about it. Just a little longer. Yep, yellow trench coat on the floor. There you go. Image planted. Now that you're shell-shocked let us gather our ingredients. 

The weapons you’ll need:

An oven preheated to 375

3 cups of sifted self-rising flour

½ cup of butter

¼ cup of sugar

11 x 9 x 2 in pan (a lasagna pan)

Mozzarella cheese

Parmesan cheese (if you’re nasty :)

Pizza sauce (I make my own, but any works)

Toppings (I’m doing pepperoni, you can use veggies i.e. peppers and red onions if she's vegetarian)

6 beers (1 for the dough and 5 for your tummy. I use a Pabst Blue Ribbon because it’s bland and doesn't affect the taste. Pumpkin spiced ale adds a nice kick, though.)

Grab a big bowl. Not that kind of bowl, you silly stoners, a mixing bowl. We need to sift our flour first. Sift your flour damn it. This is not a recommendation. Your pizza will suck if you don't sift the flour.

Now add the sugar to the mixture and lightly blend. 

Pour in your beer and stir until fully blended. (About 50 strokes.) Just stroke it until it’s done. You've done this before. It’s not that difficult.

Woah! Dude, you made the dough. Tubular!

Now pour your dough in a metal or aluminum un greased pan. 11 x 9 x 2 in deep, a “Lasagna Pan” if you will. Press the dough firmly with a mixing spoon to fill in the pan. Don't use your hands. This shit is sticky.

Melt the ½ cup of butter and pour it over the top of the dough, evenly distributing it. Place it in the oven and bake approximately 40min. Dough should light brown when you pull it out.

It’s time to add our sauce and cheese. First, sauce the dough and don’t drench it. A thin layer of sauce is perfect. Slice, grate, or if you bought shredded, simply sprinkle the mozzarella cheese over the sauce. I place my sliced fresh mozz thusly. Kind of like a turtle shell.  

Add toppings if you like and sprinkle some Parmesan over the top. Place back in the oven for 15-20 minutes, until the cheese bubbles and slightly browns. 

Now pull out your samurai sword and slice that pretty little baby up. I recommend using a knife and fork for this pizza. But you can use your "Twin Sai's" if you’re a true Ninja Turtle. Thank you so much for enjoying my blog. A new way for you to win over your womans stomach and ultimately her heart, will be posted here very soon. So check back in. 

PS. Take all the credit.  You've earned it just for trying.

You can always email me questions.

jeff@whyshelovesme.com